Pasta Puttanesca (how's your father)

I can't tell you how long I've been waiting to post this recipe. It's true, I'm quite an immature person so a cheap and inexplicably easy pasta recipe that translates to 'pasta cooked in the whore's way' is immensely entertaining to me. I'm not joking- 'puttana' is Italian for whore/slut and there are numerous explanations for this vulgar name- it is salty, strong flavoured, quick to make, and (most importantly to its slutty origins) can be made from store cupboard staples that come in tins or jars. This means the dish can be prepared easily and quickly after a bit of drinking and how's your father.
I'm not done yet; my friend is an incredibly hilarious soul who gave me a box of penis-shaped pasta that one is supposedly to enlarge in a steamy pan of salty water. Perfect for this sauce? Right? Well aside from tastelessness value, no, this is supposed to be served with spaghetti, but a bowl of bellends seem just as perfect to soak up those salty juices. One more thing, then you can put me down: please buy unpitted black olives for this, those big black balls taste much better with the hard bit inside.
1)In a large pan of well-salted boiling water, tumble in 200g penis pasta (to serve 4) and set a timer to 8 minutes.
2)Crush 2 cloves of garlic into a well-oiled pan (the oil must be cold to prevent the garlic burning) and add 1/2 tsp dried chilli flakes. Switch on a gentle heat, then add 8 good-quality anchovy fillets. If you have a wooden fork on hand, use it here to help the anchovies almost dissolve in the hot oil.
3)Add 1 tin chopped tomatoes and half fill the tin with water and add that too. Bring to the boil, then turn down the heat and add 100g whole black olives and 1 tbsp capers. To balance the tart tomatoes, add a pinch of sugar and 1 tsp balsamic vinegar (or if your capers were stored in vinegar use that). Simmer gently until the pasta is cooked.
4)Before you drain the pasta, reserve about 1/2 cup of the starchy water it was cooked in. Drain the pasta and toss into the sauce. Add enough water to loosen it, and a small knob (sorry) of butter.
5)Leave to stand for a few minutes before sprinkling with chopped fresh parsley and serving to a tolerant family.