Eric Carmen's Valentine's Brunch

Here's a little number for all those lonely muppets exploiting their cooking ability to make a romantic brunch for their significant other- who doesn't know that they're your significant other yet. But they will. OH THEY WILL. For this meal, Eric Carmen's anthem for all us lonely lovers 'All By Myself' will be perfect to kick start the self-loathing session.
I made two fancy egg and bacon toast cups and served them with a Virgin Mary- very fitting for my love life. As I had no celery on hand I used some blanched asparagus spears as a stirring utensil, you can imagine how good they tasted after swirling through those salty, spicy tomato juice.
My serving of the drinks in beer tankards shows my dire lack of f***s to give. You go be happy. You'd overcook the eggs anyway.
1)Lightly grease a muffin tin, the easiest method being that oil spray you get for healthy eaters. Oh look, they have a date, too! Cut the crusts off 2 slices of bread, must be plastic pappy stuff, and press them down well with your hand. Press around the muffin cup, and make sure it comes over the top a little.
2)Fry some rashers of bacon, smoked for me, until nice and crisp, then press on top of the bread. Crack an egg into each cup, scrunch on some black pepper and sea salt, and bake at 180 until the whites just set, and the yolk is still runny, about 8 minutes. Grated cheddar cheese sprinkled over the bacon works well in this too.
3)Blanch some asparagus spears by boiling them for about 2 minutes, then quickly placing them in ice water so they keep their green. Stir together a pinch of salt and pepper, a light dash of tabasco, light soy sauce because I'm a rebel, Worcestershire sauce, fill it up with tomato juice, a squeeze of lemon and ice. All this is to taste.
4)Serve to your loved one... who will be arriving soon... won't you?