Porchetta

So, we've just hit miserable January and the tide's coming in over the footprints of Christmas and New Year's. For me that means it's time to start preparing recipes for this year's Christmas feast. What I had a go at today is one of those majestic roasts from a Disney Queen feast that you'd never think you'd be able to do at home. But in reality all you need is a good butcher (if you were really lucky maybe the butcher's counter at a big supermarket would suffice), some patience, and a set of bathroom scales.
Porchetta is an Italian boneless pork roast that is layed open, filled with various flavourings, often including a cured pork variant, and then rolled and tied. Traditionally you would take a whole pig, debone it and generally dismember it to open it out and cook it on a spit, rather like the Mediterranean equivalent of a hog roast. So, yes, there is no way of giving you a picture of what this dish entails without making it sound unenduringly complicated, but it's not as it seems. The work is in the preparation, which there is a lot of, but if you give yourself ample time along with a clear kitchen and a good playlist on the speaker, this is a stress-free exercise.
A lot of the work, actually, you can ask to be done for you, and a butcher will be happy to. You need a pork loin, with its rind and bone removed and butterflied, that is ideally attached to the belly but you can achieve this same effect with a separate loin and a chunk of pork belly that's big enough to roll over the loin. Ask to have the bones off the joint if your butcher kept them- they add terrific flavour as a roasting trivet and you can naw on the bones afterwards. It sounds like a terrible faff to have two cuts of pork in one dinner but actually, it achieves perfection. There's not enough real, carvable meat on a pork belly to make it feasible for a large crowd (I.e Christmas) but there's not enough fat and juiciness in a big loin to make it satisfying. Cooking the latter within the former means you get all the meltingness, porky oomph and crackling of a slow roast joint but also a long lump of meat that can be easily carved into slices, the next the same as the last, to feed a family easily in one roast. But don't feel you need to wait for a grand special occasion to make this- you can prepare a porchetta with a small pork fillet and a piece of belly to fit to feed a small crowd- this is what I did today.
There's no point giving a recipe for a roast without thinking of accompaniments. The bigger the feast the greater the number of sides you need to ensure the size of the dishes veer within the non-panic inducing. Therefore, if you wanted this for Christmas or a different big event I'd go for lots of roast potatoes cooked in lard, sprouts or other green vegetable, colcannon, which is cooked green cabbage folded into mashed potatoes, or any sort of mash really; the sulphurous hit of green cabbage works nicely with sharp sweet, slow-cooked red cabbage which also keeps everything nicely seasonal. I also love the way the creaminess of some leeks in cheese sauce mixes with the dark gravy, but if you didn't want to bother I'd possibly do some roast squash or carrots.  And finally, what is roast pork without a sour apple sauce- I make a normal one with bramley apples and add grated fresh horseradish and some dollops of wholegrain mustard. The apple sauce especially helps as you need a smear of it in a leftover bun with some potato and veg- which also keeps the theme of an Italianate hog roast going.
And to reiterate, the method and ingredients lists are long here, I know, but crucially they are easy to do, and sometimes it's wonderful to make a special effort in the kitchen- and you really reap the rewards of it here.

One large rectangular piece pork belly with the rind scored, with the loin attached, and the loin butterflied also. Alternatively, use a de-rinded and deboned pork loin, butterflied, and a piece of belly, also butterflied that's big enough to cover the loin. It's difficult to say how much this should weigh altogether, as it depends on the size of the cuts, but aim for approximately 4 kilos, give or take. Keep any bones the butcher removed.
Butcher's twine  (ask for this along with the meat)
6 cloves garlic, peeled and minced
4 tsp fresh thyme leaves, reserving the stalks
2 tsp sea salt
2 tsp peppercorns
1 tsp fennel seeds
Approx. 10 big slices mortadella
Nob of lard
4 onions
Approx. 150 ml white wine or vermouth
Approx. 1 litre chicken or pork stock
Approx. 100g butter

Fill a kettle of water to boil and lay the belly joint over a rack on the sink, rind side up and pour the scalding liquid over the rind so it shrinks up. Pat this dry thoroughly, then leave it uncovered, overnight in the fridge or somewhere cold to dry out. If you're doing a very small piece of belly, leave it by an open window for a couple of hours.
The following day take the joint as a whole, or the separate loin and belly and also any bones if you have them out of the fridge and let them all come to room temperature.
Open up the loin part of the joint like a book. If this hasn't been butterflied you'll have to go it alone: take a very sharp knife and cut parallel to the chopping board the pork is sitting on, straight through the centre of the loin lengthways, stopping just a few centimetres shy of cutting the joint in half. When you've opened it out after making the first cut, cut outwards again into each opened up side of the meat to open it up even more. Cover with the plastic the joint came in or some parchment paper and bash it really well with a rolling pin or otherwise something heavy to flatten it out even more.  Pound the salt, peppercorns and fennel seeds in a pestle and mortar or in a bowl with a rolling pin or something heavy to a fine-ish powder. Spread the minced garlic over the opened out loin and sprinkle about a third of the pepper and salt mixture and about half of the thyme leaves over. Lay half of the mortadella slices on top of this. Roll this up, longways in. If the loin is attached to the belly stop there, if not, place the rolled loin on the underside of the large bit of belly. Sprinkle the remaining thyme and another third of the pepper and salt mixture on to the loin, and then lay the rest of the mortadella on top of the loin and on the belly. Roll the loin up into the belly so the rind is on the outside of the roll. Place the finished rolled joint, rind side up onto lengths of butcher's twine. You need one length for every 4 cm of joint. Rub the rest of the pounced fennel seed mixture into the scored rind. Tie up the joint tightly with whatever kind of knot you're good at. Another person's thumb to hold the knot down comes in very handy, or rather thumby. If you don't have the weight of this altogether, place it on a set of bathroom scales and take note of the weight. Be sure to disinfect the scales before returning them to their home.
Slice up the onions without bothering to peel them and make a platform in a roasting tin, rubbed with a little lard to grease and top with the thyme stalks. Lay the bones on top of the onions, then lay the tied joint on top of this.
Roast at 220 degrees Celsius for the first half an hour to set off the crackling, then reduce the heat to 170 degrees Celsius and roast for 30 minutes per 500g, so for a 4 kilo joint you're looking at about 4 hours.
When the pork is done, check by piercing the meat (go around the side to avoid cutting through the crackling) and checking any juices run clear. You're extremely unlikely to encounter undercooked meat with this slow cooking method, however.
Wrap the joint in foil in its tin to rest for at least 20 minutes (though pork will stay hot for ages, so you can rest it for an hour or longer).
After resting, remove the joint to a carving board. Keep the bones to chew on for later. Mish-mash the onions in the tin to extract their flavour, then pour the roasting juices into a saucepan. Add the vermouth or wine and the stock and reduce the gravy until it thickens. Off the heat, add the butter, and I should say that the 100g is very approximate; just add as much as you need to make the gravy a bit mellower and thicker. Before serving the gravy, give it another quick stir to redisperse any separation.